Christmas is a season that brings joy to many around the world.
For those who celebrate, many of us were raised with traditions passed down through our families, carried from generation to generation, shaping our understanding of what Christmas should be.
From family celebrations to spiritual practices, we come together for one shared purpose: to give.
Whether it is giving our time, our skills, or our possessions, giving takes many forms.
Through understanding how different generations give, the idea of acceptance becomes an important part of fostering the true joy of Christmas.
The Way I Give
I am part of the younger generation.
Growing up, there was a common way our family gatherings were arranged: one table for the adults and another for the youth. Toddlers, teens, and young adults would all gather at the same table.
It was never a strict rule, but it naturally worked out that way. Our thoughts were aligned, including how we viewed Christmas.
For us, Christmas often meant wishlists shaped by modern influence, new AirPods, trending shoes, or clothing styles pushed by social media. We are more influenced by consumerism than we might realize when it comes to gift-giving.
I like buying my parents new technology, like AirPods Pro, even if they don’t truly need it. I like buying my grandma a nice purse she’s been eyeing, even if it isn’t necessary. I like purchasing cute blind boxes, like those from Pop Mart, even though we don’t really need them at all.
My way of giving reflects how I’ve grown up in a modern era, shaped by personal desires, small comforts, and thoughtful touches that bring joy in the moment.
The Way They Give
Across the other table sits the rest of my family, adults, elders, and relatives from different generations.
While seating wasn’t enforced, it often reflected deeper family values. On my maternal side, the atmosphere was relaxed.
They would invite me to sit with them, and I would join, getting a glimpse into another generation in action.
On my paternal side, however, the idea of respecting elders was more firmly upheld. As a slight rebel, I once invited myself to sit there, only to be told off when it was time to eat.
Conversations at their table revolved around familiar topics: work, money, food, and gossip.
There was little discussion of what they wanted for Christmas.
They didn’t keep wishlists or seem concerned with material gifts. Instead, they gathered together, spent time preparing food, drank, and sang karaoke. Their way of giving lived in the shared moments of the present.
I once tried asking my father what he wanted for Christmas.
I asked about hobbies he wanted to explore or things he wanted to try. His answers grounded me: “I don’t have time,” “I have work,” and “I only want to provide for and be with the family.” Compared to how I usually thought about Christmas, this contrast stood out.
Their way of giving reflects how they grew up in a more traditional era, one shaped by survival, stability, and responsibility.
Fostering Acceptance
One side is modern, and the other is traditional. But why does this matter?
Through giving, we learn more about others and how their lives differ from our own.
Christmas is one of the rare moments when my entire family gathers in one place, reflecting on the year and on each other.
I remember seeing my younger cousins after several years and being surprised by how much they had changed. I had always been one of the only children in my family, surrounded by adults whose personalities felt more fixed.
Seeing my cousins grow from tiny children playing with toys into individuals with their own interests made me realize how much change can happen over time. I had a choice: continue seeing them as who they once were or learn to recognize who they had become.
This helped me understand why each family member gives differently. My grandma might say, “Look how tall you’ve grown,” while my aunt chooses to gift a notebook instead of more toys.
These small interactions foster acceptance.
By asking questions, engaging, and giving thoughtfully, we show that we want to understand one another, not as we once were, but as we are now.
Harmony in giving does not come from conformity. It comes from gradual acceptance, not only of how we give, but of who we are as people.
The generations gathered at these tables, laughing and talking together, show the beauty of shared space.
We listen to one another’s experiences, sometimes without realizing how meaningful that is. Simply being together is the first step toward understanding our differences.
Otherwise, why would we all still be sitting there?
I accept that I think about Christmas differently.
I accept that they have their own ideas of what Christmas should be.
I accept that we are different, but deeply human.
Final Thoughts to Wrap Up the Year
When I sit at these tables, I see my grandma and my mom in the kitchen preparing food, my uncles outside grilling and sharing stories, and the youth gathered around the Christmas tree exchanging gifts.
I used to stay in my own world, but becoming more present has allowed me to see my family through a new perspective.
Everyone brings this moment to life in their own way. We may live and give differently, but these actions carry cultural, religious, ethnic, and generational history within our household.
By learning to better understand the different ways my family gives, I’ve found more joy and growth during this special season of Christmas.
