Friendships & Technology: Why Adapting through these Changes is Important

It was near the end of 2025 when I had a deep awakening about the effects of technology on our connection with others.

It happened when I was simply driving some relatives on an hour-long trip. I suggested we try car ride questions as a way to engage without technology or mainstream noise. Various interesting questions came up, but one in particular left a mark:

“Would you rather live in a big house in the woods alone or live in a condo shared with four people in New York City?”

This question may seem straightforward, but for me, it made me consider how I have been living alongside others—both online and in person.

As a result, by looking at how our friendships have been transformed by technology, I believe it reveals the importance of why we need to stick together more than ever.

Statistics & Real-World Happenings

As this was a topic I wanted to explore, I had an urge to gather information that showed I was not alone in feeling these changes.

Coincidentally, I came across the May 2021 American Perspectives Survey.
The results showed clear indications that loneliness and social isolation were on the rise when comparing 1990 and 2021.

In 1990, a majority—33 percent—claimed they had ten or more close friendships.
By 2021, only 17 percent had three or more.

Over these 31 years, people have slowly been losing contact with one another at a drastic rate—so drastic that a friendship recession has been reported. This decline has been linked to various factors such as changes in lifestyle, work, and, in particular, the advancement of technology and online presence.

Continuing into 2025, a viral app in China known as “Are You Dead?” was introduced to me during a brainstorm session with Eric.

Shockingly, the app has only one simple step:
to push a large button every two days.

The reason, however, becomes unsettling—pushing the button confirms that you, single, elderly, and living alone, are still alive.

Knowing this, I felt even more strongly that something had changed about friendships.

Why have we stopped relying on our neighbors?
Why have we resorted to relying on technology for such a simple, humane task?

The reasons and results are clear:
these changes are causing us to lose the ability to create and cherish intentional interactions with one another.

My Experience and Why It Has Come to This Extent

Along with considering these statistics, I had to look at myself.

I still remember when technology was not as dominant growing up.
I remember having a CRT TV, a box computer, and a wall phone for communication.

These were the only pieces that represented the latest tech at the time, and they never stopped me from going to the mall, park, or library every weekend to meet friends and other people.

Back then, technology only established the idea of convenience.

However, as I grew older, the CRT became LED, the desktop became a laptop, and I slowly began spending more time with them.

Consequently, the time spent outside didn’t last long.

Like a domino effect, these changes reflected in my surroundings.

Open neighborhoods have been minimized into apartments,
time spent outside has moved indoors,
progress has turned into immediate gratification,
and the friends I used to meet often are now just a text away.

We are closer than ever through technology,
yet so far apart in how we use it.

For me, the friendships I once made easily at the local park have become significantly scarce.

When I was younger, I would play at the park and meet so many others like me. We would make up games and learn about each other through play.

Interacting this way opened me up far more than being online as an adult. I learned mannerisms, facial expressions, and body language—things I could never learn just from sitting at a desk or scrolling on my phone in isolation.

The more I am online, the more I realize you don’t truly cherish interactions until they are gone.

The fast-paced environment we live in now has created fewer situations to meet and experience the people around us.

Don’t get me wrong—friendships online are absolutely possible, but everything still seems curated and artificial.

At the end of the day, we are still looking through screens, and that has been a major factor affecting my ability to hold meaningful and unique interactions.

It slowly clouded my vision of what I wanted life to be versus the reality of things.

I told myself I was not alone and didn’t need to reach out because I had technology. I created my own world online rather than face my reality.

Living like this has only been a struggle for me, and it all catches up, creating an emptiness I can’t fully describe with words.

However, taking steps to relearn and unlearn this comfort has been progress for me as a person.

It’s an obstacle, but if you have experienced this, you and I are not alone.

The Steps I Have Taken Toward Change

From understanding that I was struggling, I have been taking steps to reconsider how I see friendships and how I use technology.

Here are a few:

1. Seek to Understand Rather Than to Know

The idea of best friends has been idealized for a long time.
We are not always lucky enough to have someone beside us forever.

Friends come and go, but that shouldn’t stop us from interacting with new people.

A while back, at a local craft store, the cashier noticed I was working on a project and mentioned they wanted to do something similar.

I continued the conversation, even though I knew I would never see them again.

That brief connection still mattered.
It helped ground me in the real world and pushed me outside my comfort zone.

2. Balance: Consider What You Consume

The phrase “You are what you consume” matters.

Technology is not bad at all. It has provided incredible opportunities.
But it is how we use it that becomes the issue.

Are you consuming content that helps you grow,
or are you trying to live someone else’s life?

Are you engaging in something beneficial,
or just drowning in brainrot?

Balance is important, and I am still working on this.

Sometimes balance just means getting up, stretching, calling someone, or going to a café.

As technology advances, staying grounded with the people near us is more important than ever.

It’s not easy, but trying is always better than not trying.

Choosing People Over Convenience

Would you rather live in a big house in the woods alone or in a condo shared with four people in New York City?

As an introvert, I would have chosen the first option, making excuses about why I was better off alone.

But can I really live with no one near me, even with technology?

My answer is no.

So many of us are now experiencing isolation, loneliness, and the loss of friends.

In this difficult time, it is important to consider how we allow technology to shape how we live and grow.

That simple car ride question awakened me at the end of 2025 to pursue a life I am proud to experience. It has become one of my personal goals for 2026.

So dear reader, I challenge you to reconsider how your online presence—and the people around you—will shape the way you continue to live your life.